Ten Months Old

~Ten Months Old~

I just cannot believe that our baby girl is ten months old today ~ it hardly seems possible!!  The changes continue to amaze us, and we are soaking up every wonderful minute with our little blessing.  Our first week of lock down was a delightful change of pace with no doctor appointments (the first week with no appointments since early June!); and we kicked off this period with a special visit from Noelle's Auntie Kari and Auntie Barbie.  Noelle absolutely loved the company and all the extra attention and snuggles, and I enjoyed the sweet fellowship during the few short days they were here.  Unfortunately, Noelle's reflux flared pretty badly again this past weekend, so we moved up one of her doctor appointments by a couple of days to today.  Her medication has been weight adjusted thus far, so this flare up was evidence that she had outgrown her dose and was in need of a new calculation.  Thankfully, her pediatrician was able to put her on the maximum dose possible (now that she is big enough); and we are all hopeful that this new dose will improve the situation so that we may get more positive results on the sleep study next week.  The added benefit to today's appointment was that we were able to see how much weight she has gained, and she weighed 9lbs. 15oz.  That is the closest she has ever come to averaging 1 lb. / month, and I was excited to see her progress.  The rest of this post will be in pictures, but I am hoping to post more regularly again once we have a chance to get past our appointments this week and really settle into our routine of being at home all the time.  These coming months are going to be quite fun as this little girl makes us laugh in new ways every day; and we continue to thank God for your many prayers as we take one day at a time, seeking to wade through this time period in the healthiest way possible.

 Ten Month Activities

~Sitting up with a little boppy help!~

~A New Friend...~

~Helping Daddy Read~

~A little someone figured out that there are bows on her helmet...~

~Meeting Auntie Kari for the first time~

~Playing with Mommy's chin~

~Saying "See You Soon" to Auntie Kari...~

~....and to Aunt Barbie too~

Lock Down Commences

~I finally graduated to a "big girl" towel!!~

We officially began lock down today, although we actually began limiting our outings a week ago to those only absolutely necessary.  While we have been careful since we last discharged from the hospital, we have been allowed certain activities such as church attendance, grocery shopping (during week days at non-busy times), and similar things that did not involve large crowds.  With the arrival of October and the cooler weather, Noelle is now allowed to go to doctor appointments only, and we must keep her home the rest of the time for the next six months.  When they first explained this to me a few months ago, I was certainly willing to do it; but I was also dreading it a bit.  Six months seemed like a very long time, especially since I had been keeping her home ever since we discharged from the NICU; and I knew that even once the six months was completed, we would have to slowly begin introducing public activities again and could not just immediately resume a "normal" life.  However, as this time approached, I began to look forward to it and am actually thankful that it has arrived.  It will bring a certain amount of logistical challenges; but while I know that her health is ultimately in God's sovereign hands, it just feels more safe to be confined to home during this season when so many people become sick.  We are very hopeful that if she can do well (without setbacks) through this season, then next summer will be a different story altogether.  We have not forgotten that we still need to complete the sleep study and demonstrate improvement; but after talking with more members of her medical team and finding out further details of this past sleep study, we truly believe that she will not be receiving the tracheotomy that the ENT specialist thought she needed.  Improvement in her oxygen saturation levels has also continued in the past several weeks, and I am very thankful for my mom who has now moved here and is a tremendous help and blessing as we seek to do everything physically possible to aid Noelle's reflux issues (and consequently affect the upcoming sleep study results).  The nerves will still come as we approach that moment, but we continue to find great comfort in the fact that God has already planned our coming days.  As we close September and begin this new season, we had many blessings this past month of which I will share a few.  Thank you for your many continued prayers for our sweet miracle baby!!

~I just rolled over again!!~

September Blessings

~ Noelle began to roll over

~ We packed up nearly all the newborn clothes and began the transition to 3 month clothes

~ We have heard a couple of giggles now, and a full laugh is just under the surface

~ Noelle graduated from speech therapy 

~My mom (Noelle's snuggle buddy) now lives here

~Aunt Julie, Gigi, and G-Pa all came to visit

....and my very favorite:

~We reached the point of being at home for as many days as we have spent in the hospital this year!!!

"For This Child I Prayed..."

While many have encouraged a book writing project, we have decided that the first endeavor will be a compilation effort for Noelle's first birthday and would like to request participation from anyone willing to take part.  Since she will have no memories of how her life began, it would be wonderful for her to have something which she can read someday, which would reveal to her the many who have prayed for her through this journey.  Our desire is for her to clearly see God's hand upon her life in a very tangible way, and so we would like to collect these memories while they are fresh upon the minds of many.  The book will be named, For This Child I Prayed...., and if you would like to take part, we will be compiling the following submissions:

~Specific prayers or Scripture you prayed for Noelle
~Special memories of Noelle
~Sweet stories (there are several we have already heard from children, for example)
~Scripture or encouraging words

Submissions will be collected through Thanksgiving, and then we will compile them into a book to commemorate her first year of life outside the womb.  If you would like to participate, you may contact us in the following ways:

~Email: graceoutpoured@gmail.com
~Our Facebook Page: {Grace Outpoured} (Leave a comment with a designation of "Birthday Book" or "For This Child....")
~Grace Outpoured Blog: comments may always be left on our posts, but if you leave it on any other post than this one, please designate it the same as you would a comment on the Facebook page.

We thank you in advance for your participation, if you so choose.  More than that, we are ever grateful for each one of you who have invested in the life of our family, especially through prayer.  We hope and pray that this will be a tangible testimony of God's grace to Noelle.

{Please note that all submissions will become the property of Grace Outpoured to be used as desired for public or private publication.}

Connect With Us...

Grace Outpoured has launched a new Facebook page to continue sharing updates on Noelle as well as some possible opportunities which God seems to be developing in the coming months {the first one to be posted later today!}.  Please visit Facebook and "Like" our page {Grace Outpoured} to receive updates and notices via Facebook.  As we settle into "lock down" for the fall and winter seasons, we look forward to connecting with many of you and continuing to share how God is working in our lives.  Thank you for your support!!

The Day Our Lives Forever Changed ~ {One Year Ago...}

September 26, 2011 was a day we had anticipated for weeks as it was our first ultrasound, and we hoped to find out if we were having a little boy or little girl.  We had names chosen for both genders {even though we were very suspicious that we were having a baby girl} and were hoping to start envisioning nursery colors and ideas by the end of the morning.  Our appointment was scheduled early; and although the check-in process always seemed to take some time, the ultrasound itself went quite quickly.  We enjoyed watching our tiny baby on the screen while the sonographer took several pictures, confirmed our suspicions that we were having a girl, and then left the room for a while as she wanted me to walk and move around in an attempt to get Noelle into a different position so she could get the other pictures she needed.  In retrospect, I believe she was gone for such a long time consulting with the doctor on her findings; but we were oblivious to any hint of concern, being completely engrossed in talking and dreaming about our little girl.  Upon the sonographer's return, we discovered that Noelle had not budged at all, so we were given a few printed pictures and shown to the waiting room until we could meet with the doctor and discuss the results.  I remember being disappointed that I was given only a few pictures {since I had friends with refrigerators full of ultrasound photos} but figured it was due to Noelle's position and did not think much of it beyond that. After some time, which we spent texting family and friends our exciting news, we were taken to the doctor's office to discuss our baby's progress.  The next moments would bring heartbreaking news and change the course of our lives forever as the doctor informed us that they were seeing multiple "soft markers" in Noelle's measurements along with some other concerning signs, and they needed to schedule us for a high resolution ultrasound with a high risk specialist to get a more clear picture of exactly what was happening in our pregnancy.  The doctor gave us a lot of information but kept things pretty vague overall, since they honestly had no idea what we were facing.  The one thing they basically {although not concretely} ruled out was Down Syndrome, leaving us with more unanswered questions than we ever thought possible.

We left the office with the assurance that someone would call us shortly to schedule the next appointment and instructions to stay off the internet for information as much as possible.  As we sat in the car for a moment, I think the shock began to settle into our minds; and Tom took my hand and began to pray, and our tears began to flow.  We loved this little baby, Noelle Christine, with all of our hearts and were so grieved that she might face major challenges in her life.  At the time, we did not consider a fatal condition, although it had been mentioned as a possibility.  We drove away, and I began letting close family and friends know the uncertain news and asking them to pray.  Almost immediately, my best friend, Sue Shaw, contacted me back and asked if we wanted to have lunch together, understanding if we wanted some time alone together but also wanting to be there for us if we wanted to talk to someone.  She was nearly nine months pregnant with her second little boy, and we were all looking forward to the impending arrival of this little one.  Tom and I decided it would be nice to see her and Alex {her first little boy}, and even though she was being monitored for some early signs of Preeclampsia that she was experiencing, she dropped everything and came to meet us for lunch.  It was a sweet time of fellowship and encouragement as she just listened to us explain what we had been told {which was not much at the time} and then talked through a little bit of what we were thinking and feeling.  Tom and I were processing things differently, but ultimately we knew that God was in control of the situation, regardless of how things felt in the moment.  Sue offered to let our church elders know the situation, and I gladly and thankfully agreed {since contrary to what the blog now suggests, I am actually a very private person who prefers to share one-on-one and have had to learn to become more open on a much larger scale, due to our situation this past year}.  As we parted ways for the day, she assured us of her love and prayers and made sure we knew that she and Aaron {her husband} were available to us any time of the day or night that we might need them for anything.  As I look back on that day, one year ago, the memories are so vivid that it truly seems like it happened only this morning.  However, today is different because my baby girl is sleeping in her cradle, and a blog full of posts exists with evidence of a hard fought journey since that day.  I am incredibly grateful as I look at the blessing which I hold in my arms today, but I am also reminded of the blessing of my dear friend, Sue.  She was a great friend before all of this began; but since that time, she has proved her steadfastness, her faithfulness, her love, and so much more as she has sought to demonstrate Christ-likeness to us in a multitude of ways.  She and Aaron have never failed to be there for any need we have expressed {and even many we have not voiced}; and while there are many in our church body who have also faithfully and lovingly been there for many of our needs, Sue and Aaron are always the first ones we call.  Words could never express our thankfulness to God for bringing them into our lives, and we are ever grateful to Him that we are now looking back on a year full of much learning and drawing closer to Him.  His grace has truly been sufficient for it all.

~One Year Later...with Our "Huge" 9lb. 4oz. Little Girl~

Father's Day ~ {One Year Ago...}

~Best Father/Daughter Picture we could get that day....still sweet~

~Open eyes will not happen!~

~Reaction to the breeze (just a face, no crying)~

This is a post I began the day after Father's Day, but then circumstances placed us back in the hospital; and unfortunately this day was quickly relegated to the back of our minds.  However, I have always wanted to come back and finish it since it was a special time for us, especially considering the events of the past year.  It was Father's Day weekend 2011 when we discovered that we were pregnant with our very first child; and since we had been hoping and praying for a baby for several months, we were ecstatic when the test read positive.  Little did we know what the weeks ahead would bring, but we spent that first Father's Day together in much anticipation and joy as we dreamed of what life would hold with a new member in our family.  While celebrating Father's Day this year, a myriad of memories and emotions overwhelmed us, remembering where we were one year ago as well as everything through which we had come since that time period.  God's amazing grace is so evident in a multitude of ways as we look at Noelle, but I also see it as I look at Tom.  His love for children has always impressed me, but watching him through the pregnancy and then since the moment Noelle was born, has made me love him so much more than I ever thought possible.  His tender, gentle care for our little girl coupled with his protective and yet ever fun spirit is a joy to watch, and I thank God for the husband he gave to me who now has assumed the role of "Daddy."  He does it very well and works so hard to not only provide for us but also spend quality time with us in an effort to lead our family in a godly manner.  Father's Day will forever hold an extra special place in our hearts for the memory of learning we were pregnant but also because there were many days when we expected it to turn into a day of grief as we were told that Noelle would not live.  Instead, it is still a day of joy, anticipation, and great thankfulness to God for all He has done and is continuing to do in our lives. 

~This set of pictures is from Father's Day Weekend 2012~

~Always has eyes for Daddy~

~She absolutely adores him!~

 ~This set of pictures is from this past weekend....Noelle & Daddy together~

~Smiles for Daddy~

~New Toy: Chins!!~

~Fascinated by Daddy~

~A Favorite Pastime Together~

The Beginning of Mobility

~I am very focused sometimes!!~

Someone once asked me if I had a baby book in which I was logging Noelle's milestones; and it took me aback since not only did I not have such a book, but it had not even crossed my mind amidst everything else we were experiencing at the time.  But then I remembered that I did have something that documented and logged many of Noelle's milestones and so much more...this blog.  Something that I resisted for so long has now assumed many tasks for me in the forms of  a baby book, a medical history record, my memory, and so much more; and I truly appreciate the many who encouraged me to pursue this avenue of communication.  Today, this blog becomes a baby book yet again to record the first time that Noelle rolled over by herself {of course I did not capture it on camera since the little stinker waited to do it once my back was turned, but we will get it next time!}.  Honestly, another reason I have never picked up a typical baby book is because it usually has prompts for all the milestones in the months that they are supposed to occur in your baby's life.  Since Noelle does not and will not ever fall into those categories, I truly do not even keep up with the "normal" things she is supposed to be doing at her age.  It is too stressful, and I do not want to put pressure on her {or myself} for her to do things which she is not yet able or ready to do {especially since even "normal" babies have a wide range of timing for milestones}.  I have a basic idea of where she should be since we are asked the milestone questions at various appointments, but we just let her do things in her own time; and so far she is not that far off schedule, considering her adjusted age {which is calculated by her original due date}.  I am now scrambling to get the carpet cleaned and insure our home is ready for a mobile baby, since I think it will come faster than for what I am ready; but we are excited for this new phase with Noelle, and each passing day grows sweeter and sweeter with her.  I will post "rolling over" pictures whenever we finally capture them, but here are a few other pictures to view in the meantime {especially since she is beginning the transition to 3 month clothes and gaining a new wardrobe in the process!}.  Thank you for sharing in our joy with us!!

~I love my Daddy!!!~

~He is the most fascinating person in the world to me!!~

~Daddy feeding me avocados for the first time~

~These are yummy!!~

~I'm so big, I can almost fit my entire fist in my mouth!!~

~So the doctor said I could wear my helmet without the strap....haha!!~