NICU Day 103 ~ (March 19th)

Tonight's post will be a short and sweet update as we are working on our taxes and starting the checklist of what must be completed before Noelle comes home.  She is continuing to do very well overall and weighed in at 1,310 grams / 2 lbs. 14 oz. tonight.  We are so very close to 3 lbs. and expect to make it there by the end of this week!!  The current plan is simply for her to grow; and hopefully by next week, she will be big enough to repeat the contrast x-ray test on her intestines so that we can move forward from there.  Again, our prayer is that this x-ray will be definitive so that no further unnecessary procedures will be performed to determine whether or not there is a problem.  Our other prayer is that she will have grown and matured enough to be past any intestinal issues that are common with preemies (and especially micro preemies).  We would also ask prayer for us as we are balancing everything we need to get done at home (before she comes home) alongside spending time with her and taking care of her at the hospital.  We are very ready to finally be at home with our little girl and look forward to the time when she can be with us every moment of the day and night.  Thank you so very much for your continued prayers.  We look forward to sharing how God continues to work tomorrow.

NICU Day 64 ~ (February 9th)

 ~December 8, 2011~

Nine weeks ago today, Noelle was born into this world, and as I look back on the pictures from that day, tears fill my eyes.  Tears of hope and joy; tears of grief and sorrow.  The grief and sorrow pass quickly, but they were part of the process.  No mother wants their baby to be "kicked out" of the womb, but that is exactly what happened.  Instead of being a place for her to be nurtured and to grow, it had become a hostile environment which was very quickly taking her little life.  Whether it is something like that or a completely different situation, the final result ends up being the same for most preemie mothers, and whatever the circumstances that led them there, they now are living life with their baby in the NICU.  It's not an easy road.  Each medication, each tube, each blood draw, each probe (the list is endless) is another reminder that this baby should not yet be here.  They should still be safely growing inside, oblivious to this kind of a world in which they now live.  But that isn't the case, and so I think every preemie family goes through some sort of grieving process in working through this type of situation.  However, when you believe as we do, that God is completely sovereign in all things, it puts a completely different perspective on that grief.  Instead of torturing ourselves with "why" and "how" and "what did we do wrong" or "what should we have done differently," we can rest instead in the knowledge that God had Noelle's birth date and method planned before the dawn of time.  Knowing that He is the Sustainer of her life, whether she is in the womb or not, brings an incredible comfort to our hearts, and nothing we could have planned or done would have changed the events of nine weeks ago.

 ~February 9, 2012~

And so enters the hope and joy.  I think ours was magnified simply because we did not even expect to reach a day in which she had a chance at life.  We knew all things were possible with God, and yet we did our best to rest in His sovereign plan as He revealed it to us bit by bit.  With one small cry a moment after she was born, hope filled our hearts like never before, and we dared to dream what life might be like with our tiny miracle.  In many ways, that day seems like yesterday, and in other ways the last nine weeks feel like an eternity.  Sometimes I cannot seem to remember what "normal" life is like, but that does not sadden me.  I am so incredibly grateful for this ever changing new "normal" and am very excited for the continuing changes that are to come.  Our little girl is doing so much better than anyone ever thought or imagined would be possible.  Yes, there is still a lot to overcome, but God continues to show Himself faithful, and we stand in awe of Him as we watch this miracle unfold before our eyes.  Thank you for being a part of that with us and continually bringing us before His throne.

NICU Day 24 (December 31st)

Today was another rough day in the NICU with Noelle.  We arrived at the hospital this morning to find her oxygen level at 100% (it should be sitting in the 20's or 30's...50's at the most if she is having a harder day), and her stats were still dropping even with that.  The doctor was extremely concerned that she was starting to fight an infection on top of her PDA.  The echocardiogram revealed that the ductus is still largely open, and the ibuprofen did nothing to help it close.  They are now starting her Indocin to help it close (they were unable to give this to her before due to all of her intestinal issues, but now that those seem to be resolved, they are going to try it).  They are also starting her on another round of antibiotics to help her fight whatever infection may be affecting her stats so much.  It could all be related to the PDA or it could be a separate issue altogether.   The doctor told us this morning that today and the next few days are critical days.  If they cannot get the ductus to close and her lungs continue to flood, then we will have to consider the surgery.  However, the surgery is controversial and questionable since Noelle is a micro-preemie baby and just so small.  When we left tonight, she was doing better with her stats--was more stabilized than earlier today.  We know that so many people are praying for her right now.  Especially meaningful to us is the children who come to us and tell us that they are praying for us and Noelle--it means that parents are sharing this in their homes and as they teach their children to pray, they are lifting us up in prayer and that means more than you will ever know.  While the road is scary at many points, we are so thankful that we have peace through the process.  As hard as it is to watch our baby girl go through these various procedures and feel helpless to assist in any way, it's comforting to know that she rests in God's hands, and there is no better place.  We look forward to this new year and seeing what God unfolds in the life of our family.   Thank you for your continued love and prayers, and we wish you a very Happy New Year!!!

NICU Day 2 ( December 9th)

 ***Written by Chris McDowell, Jill's Mother***

Today was a "good" day. Jill is doing well and no problems with bleeding. They keep checking her blood and she has to still have a hep lock in for safety backup. Someone asked how far along Noelle is. She is 29 weeks, but last measurements a little over a week ago she was only measuring 22-23 weeks in size. She is the smallest baby this ...hospital has had. One baby born just a little bigger than Noelle just went home this week.
Her oxygen levels were doing so well last night they dropped her on down to 21% oxygen and Noelle's O2 levels began to drop so they bumped her back up to 75%. She responded well and they weaned her back down today and she is presently on 24% which the doctors are very pleased with.
They are still running detailed blood tests on her DNA, but so far the US showed mild fluid in the kidneys which they believe could even be resolved now because she has good output. The preliminary on the ultrasound on the brain is that everything looks good. The doctor just want to get one more specialist's opinion on it, but the doctor said they don't believe there is anything that they can see. The nurse told Tom tonight that they got the results back from the ultrasound on her heart and everything appears normal. They should get a full report in the morning when the doctors do grand rounds.
They have been taking blood to check oxygen levels and the genetics doctor took to run DNA testing so they will probably give her a tiny transfusion tonight, she was 1/10 of a point below the level they want a certain blood level at.
Her blood pressure has been running a bit low and they have been giving her a drug called Dopamine in small increments. This evening it was finally up to a level that they are happy with.
They are pumping all kinds of nutrients into her along with some "fatty emulsions". I guess last night she wasn't tolerating the fatty emulsions well so they have backed off for now and will reintroduce later. They hope to insert a feeding tube in the next few days and give her breast milk.
She appears to be very responsive to Jill and Tom's voices and continues to be called feisty by the doctors and nurses. They can't believe she is so active and responsive.
The medical team has been great, but they continue to lovingly share with Jill and Tom that because Noelle is so tiny she is still "very sick" and anything and everything can be a factor in causing her risk. It is minute by minute and they greatly appreciate everyone's prayers, support, love and care. They are thankful for every minute God has allowed them to have with Noelle.
Good night to all.