Nine Months Old

~Sweet, 9 Month Old Baby Girl~

~Blurry, but My Favorite: Love these Smiles!!~

I can hardly believe this little girl is nine months old today!  There were many days when I was not sure we would ever make it this far; but by God's grace, we are enjoying this precious gift who is growing like a little weed.  She still did not quite average 1lb./month as she weighed 8lbs. 12oz. this week; but she is close, and everyone is quite pleased with her growth.  The last few weeks have been very full for us, not only with multiple doctor appointments but also with the weighty results and projected treatment of the sleep apnea and waiting on the doctors to consult and develop a plan.  We did not share many details earlier since we needed to process the news ourselves, and we also did not want to cause undue alarm if the proposed treatment was dismissed by the rest of her medical team.  However, it was and is still being seriously considered, and so we are facing the possibility of a tracheotomy to solve the sleep apnea issues.  This came as a complete shock to us since Noelle has been doing so well, and her doctors almost did not proceed with the sleep study originally.  I truly thought it would confirm some reflux issues but nothing more serious than that, and it took us a few days to wrap our heads around the information, once the ENT highly recommended it almost two weeks ago.  Thankfully, he still had to consult with Noelle's cardiologist and pulmonologist who were greatly concerned but not as extremely urgent about it since they had seen progress with her since her last hospital stay.  The last ten days were filled with much discussion among them, and we finally learned the new plan at Noelle's pulmonology appointment on Thursday.

~Snuggling with Gigi on the Porch Swing~

The medical team has decided to repeat the sleep study on October 17th; but if the results are the same, then they will proceed with the tracheotomy {or tracheostomy~the term is interchangeable}.  I will admit that I initially struggled with this issue more than I ever expected, especially considering how many life and death situations we have already come through in the past several months with Noelle.  However, after much wrestling with it, I realized that I had become quite attached to our new "normal" life, especially since I felt as if we could "see the light at the end of the tunnel" and hoped to be completely "normal" again by next summer {i.e.~oxygen free, fewer doctor appointments, fewer medications, fewer restrictions, etc...}.  The tracheotomy completely threatened {well, it totally dashed} any hope of that normality returning for many months...years even, since the ENT specialist had prepared us to have it inserted for a minimum of two to three years.  It also meant another very long hospital stay since we would be admitted for a minimum of one month for the surgery and the intense training we would receive to care for Noelle in her new condition.  The other ramifications are incredibly numerous for day to day life as well as long term development and plans, and they become overwhelming when we dwell on them; but in the end, God revealed my sin to me and reminded me once again that it is His plan that is is best for Noelle and our family, and I am not to become attached to my own dreams and plans.  If we truly desire for Him to be glorified, then we must live that in our daily walk, regardless of the painful circumstances we endure.  Now, I can truly say that we are at peace with whatever the results turn out to be next month.

~Grandma is my new Snuggle Buddy!!~

This does not mean that we do not have fears that must be surrendered or tears that easily flow, but it does mean that we know that the same God who gave life and breath to Noelle and brought her to today is also the same God who will sustain us through this next chapter, however it comes to be written.  In the meantime, we are doing everything humanly possible to help the situation in the form of controlling her reflux.  Noelle's medications has been nearly doubled {due to her weight gain}, and we are using and performing every other reflux aid we can possibly do.  We know that reflux can reflect as apnea episodes, so we are trying to eliminate these as much as possible so that we can get as much of an accurate reading as possible in a few weeks.  Thankfully, my mom has recently moved here and is a tremendous help during this time, especially as we work through these issues.  We truly appreciate your prayers in this matter.  Selfishly, we pray that it will not come to this while ultimately desiring that God's will be done in both Noelle's little life and our family's life as a whole.  We will certainly continue to update but will not have any further information on this issue until the end of October.  In the meantime, we continue to enjoy this sweet girl and her precious smiles each day as she grows and continues to change right before our eyes.  Happy Nine Month Birthday, Noelle!!!

~~~More pictures of life with Noelle the past few weeks~~~

~I am reaching for toys now!!~

~Sweet Snuggles with Grandma~

~What was THAT noise?!!~

~Visiting with Aunt Donna at the NICU~

~A Nap on Gigi's Porch Swing~

~What a life!!~