Thursday, July 5, 2012

PICU Day 11 ~ {July 5, 2012}

~To say we are "attached" is the understatement of the year (although we have actually been even more attached than this in the past!!).  It is difficult to see, but we are hooked to the monitor in the background (with multiple cords), the IV pole (with multiple lines), the oxygen pole and the nitric oxide...I stopped counting when I reached 10 lines.  Just one more thing I have learned not to take for granted....a completely unattached, cord/line/tube free baby.~
~Snuggling with Barbie~
Noelle had one of her best days in quite some time; and while it is still going to take some time to work through these issues and reach a point of stability at a level which she can safely go home, the improvement is marked, and we are thankful to see our little girl clearly feeling much better.  The medical team is moving slowly with the weaning process on her nitric oxide and milrinone in the hopes that she will be able to transition easily to her oral medications which she can continue at home.  This past week, it has begun to hit us what a serious issue we are facing with this pulmonary hypertension.  After her life and death episode with the hypertension in January, we faced a multitude of other issues; and the pulmonary hypertension migrated to the back of our minds with the assumption that it would always continue to get better with time.  We have since learned otherwise and now know that this will be a long and tedious haul that must be closely monitored and managed.  But as I discussed with a fellow NICU mom today, God gives us grace for the exact issues which our own micro-preemie baby faces.  It is funny that we look at our fellow micro-preemie families' circumstances and hope that our own micro-preemie does not go through their neighbors' issues, and they feel the same with us.  Of course, these babies often experience many of the same problems; but then again, they each follow their own course, making each family's journey individually unique.  The road is very difficult, and the tears flow often; but the joys are also tremendous, and God draws us ever closer to Him, teaching us many incredible lessons and broadening our perspective to dimensions never before imagined.  While I would never knowingly choose to walk this path again, I can honestly say that I would not trade this past year; and the little miracle in my arms and the many relationships we have formed are only some of the greatest blessings we now have as a result of this trial. 

Noelle had many visitors again today, including our long time family friend, Barbie, who flew out to see her for a few days, as well as two of her FMC nurses.  I love it that she still recognizes her FMC nurses' voices and responds so sweetly to them.  She also loves the snuggle time in those very familiar arms, and I look forward to the days when she can begin to understand all that they have done for her. 

~Cat Nap with Daddy~
The care plan continues to develop as Noelle responds to various treatments, but once she has weaned from the milrinone and nitric oxide, we can move out of the PICU to the step down cardiac unit and into a regular room (although we are perfectly content with the room we have...it is more than we ever imagined in a situation like this).  We are hopeful this will happen by next week, bringing us that much closer to going home again.  We are mentally preparing to be on oxygen full time, to be on a longer list of medications, and to be extremely limited in our outings for quite some time; but this is for a season of time that will pass, and the consequences of handling things otherwise are simply not worth it.  Thank you for praying through these days of waiting and trusting, and we look forward to seeing how God continues to grow and use this tiny girl for His glory.


Wednesday, July 4, 2012

PICU Day 10 ~ {July 4, 2012}

~Nearing the end of the extubation process~
We missed the fireworks tonight, but Noelle provided her own little 4th of July celebration that was enough for us.  It was not without some drama, but she was extubated today and is doing quite well, considering the overall circumstances.  At this time last night, we thought the extubation might happen some time today; but this morning the medical team informed us that they would prefer to do a long, slow wean and have her come off the ventilator sometime Thursday or Friday.  This did not bother us since this is the fourth time we have been through this process, and we always want to be sure that she is fully awake and ready to have that support removed.  However, she began to wake up this afternoon and really start fighting the ventilator, and they decided it was the time for extubation to take place.  At first, things seemed to be going normally; but we quickly saw that Noelle was not responding as she should once the breathing tube was removed.  This is not a completely abnormal response, so they gave her some extra oxygen and watched for her to recover and start breathing on her own, but this still did not happen.  Several things were happening all at once, but they bagged her to provide manual breaths along with oxygen and kept working with her.  She would take a breath when stimulated but then had difficulty moving the air in her system, so she would then stop and clamp down.  It was nerve racking to watch her little body struggling to adjust while hearing the monitor sounding because of a drop in her heart rate and oxygen levels.  The team continued to manually help her and work with her and also decided to administer a drug to reverse the effects of the pain/sedation medication {Fentanyl} and allow her to awake; and thankfully, the tiny amount they gave her worked almost immediately.  The doctor had told her this was her last chance before they reinserted the breathing tub; but she opened her eyes, began to cry, and started breathing and moving air on her own, allowing us all to breathe a sigh of relief.  The entire process took more than 30 minutes and was the most difficult extubation we have ever experienced with her. 
~Exhausted but ventilator free Baby Girl~
Perhaps it was her way of celebrating the 4th and making up for the fact that she cannot watch fireworks tonight or wear her sweet little 4th of July outfit that Mommy has been saving for her for weeks!  Either way, we are grateful that she is now doing well without the ventilator and having very few desaturation episodes thus far.  She does still have the blood clot issue in her leg, but it appears to be better than last night and slowly responding to the medication, so we are hopeful that it will be resolved within the next day and her circulation back to normal.  We hope you had a wonderful 4th of July holiday and appreciate your continued concern and prayers for us.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

PICU Day 9 ~ (July 3, 2012)

What a day!!  It all started in the wee hours of the morning as Noelle's peripheral IV came out and a new one had to be inserted.  The process took some time since she is a difficult stick, but they were able to obtain it in one try this time with a location on her head.  I have mixed emotions about the head IVs since I hate the location; but they usually last longer than the feet or hands, and she cannot rub it, pull it, kick it, swat it {you get the picture....she has lost more than one IV in these manners}.  I was happy she was stuck only once; but that was short lived when a few hours later, they discovered her head was bleeding out from the IV site.  Then began the long and tedious attempt for another IV insertion.  We have been through this process multiple times this week beginning in the ER on day one, when it took seven attempts to place the first IV.  Peripheral IVs last only so long and when they do not flush or they simply come out, another one must be placed; and because Noelle is such a difficult stick {due to so many IVs in the past as well as her small size}, this can mean multiple sticks before success is reached.  Counting the IV attempts, blood draws, heel sticks, and  toe sticks, I calculated that she has been stuck more than 50 times this past week; and by today, I decided that something better must be done and made my wishes clear to the medical staff {as graciously as possible, but with urgency and concerned, watery eyes}.  I know it is a necessary evil which we have endured probably a few hundred times through the last seven months {and that is not an exaggeration}, but she can only tolerate so much; and since our request for a PICC line was refused a few days ago, I found it ironic that it was brought up by the staff today as a solution to the problem of constantly sticking her.  {I will say that we have been very happy with her overall care this time around; but an extremely high standard was set at FMC, and our expectations are thus very high as well}.  One thing quickly led to another at this point, and when they informed me of some medication changes while rounding on Noelle a short while later, I started questioning the direction of her care plan.  Thankfully, the cardiologist was nearby, and they quickly called him over to explain their current decisions.  I believe a misunderstanding had taken place since we had never intended to halt the original care plan while seeking a second opinion from Boston, but that was the impression given.  So after a short discussion, we were told that Noelle's original procedure spot for today had opened up again, and we could proceed with the heart catheterization according to our original schedule, if we so desired.  We had hoped to hear from Boston just for confirmation, but Tom and I discussed it and felt strongly that we should not delay any further but proceed for the sake of Noelle's health and the need for a confirmed care plan.  Things again progressed quickly from this point and after enjoying some sweet smiles and snuggles with Noelle, the cardiologist arrived to discuss the procedure and sign the paperwork.  Just as he was arriving, the specialist from Boston called and confirmed that he felt the care plan was what they would do themselves and that the heart catheterization was the next move they would also take, but he did not see anything pressing that made him feel a transfer was necessary for them to do at this time.  We were especially thankful to God for this affirmation of our decision and proceeded with the cardiologist through the next steps.  It is daunting to listen to and discuss the process of such a procedure along with the possible risks and side effects, and it makes us even more thankful that Noelle ultimately never rests in the hands of her current medical team but in our great God who loves her even more than we do.  Not long afterwards, she was being wheeled away; and I was very grateful for some dear friends from our church who came to sit and visit with us as we waited.  They dropped everything they were doing and rushed to the hospital to be with us during a time that would otherwise have seemed to drag on continuously.  The procedure took some time, and they experienced some issues with her ventilation process that they did not expect and actually had not seen in other patients; but she still did well overall, and everyone was ultimately very pleased with the final results.  They were able to obtain a baseline measurement of the pulmonary pressures and are happy to say that she is no longer the severe case that she was upon arrival last week, but she is now a moderate case {although they still consider this very serious in the realm of pulmonary hypertension, it does display good improvement, for which we are grateful}.  The best news of all was that though her heart anatomy was a-typical and not what they normally see, everything still originates in the right locations and is directed correctly {although it does not take the expected path~surprise, surprise!!} and is within normal range and obviously normal for Noelle.  This came as a huge relief after the multiple issues through this past week.
~Puffy from the procedure but very alert and wondering "Why do these people keep sticking all these tubes down my throat and nose?!!"~
Noelle finally arrived back in the PICU and though she slept deeply for some time, she has already started waking up and showing some signs of a very alert state.  Based on what we have seen so far, there is a strong possibility she will come off the ventilator tomorrow, and we can begin the rest of the therapy needed to start managing her pulmonary hypertension and hopefully avoid another serious setback such as this one.  One other main concern tonight is that they believe she has developed a blood clot in one leg, have started treatment necessary to manage it, and are closely monitoring it at this point.  We are pretty tired after such a long week and an especially long day, but we are also incredibly grateful to God for the answers that He provided today through this procedure.  While we are just beginning to understand the seriousness of her pulmonary hypertension and the long road it will be, things could have been much much worse; and God graciously spared us during this time.  My little joy tonight?  They were able place a central line while she was under anesthesia this afternoon, and so peripheral IVs and blood sticks are unnecessary for a few days until they place a longer lasting PICC line (I wish we could steal you for that, Keri Prybolo!! {Keri was one of our nurse practitioners at FMC, and she placed Noelle's very first PICC line with one try when she was still less than 15oz.!!}).  No one will estimate how much longer they think we will be in the hospital, but all evidence shared indicates that it will still take some time.  Regardless, we just rejoice in the huge blessings God gave us today and thank and praise Him for all He has done.  Your participation through encouragement and prayers means so much and continues to point back to the great God we serve.

Heart Catheterization Outcome

We will post a full update with tonight's end of the day post, but Noelle came through the procedure pretty well.  There were a few unexpected issues with her ventilation during the procedure, but the outcome was very positive overall.  The most concerning issues with the supposed abnormalities of her heart proved to be false; and while her heart anatomy is a-typical, it still has correct function and still falls within a normal realm.  We are thanking God for the developments today and the findings of this test, and cannot thank you enough for your prayers.  More details will follow in the final post tonight.

Heart Catheterization Update

~Last minute snuggles with Daddy~
~Ready to go...~
We had a very crazy morning and will provide more details in our post at the end of the day, but the short story is that we proceeded with the heart catheterization today, and Noelle was just taken down for the procedure.  The Lord also provided further confirmation that we had made the right decision as Boston called right as we met with the cardiologist and stated that they would be following the exact same course of treatment and would not recommend a transfer at this point in time.  We have been read the list of risks for this procedure from minor irritations to death; but as Tom prayed for Noelle before she was taken, we are thankful that she rests in God's hands.
~Sweet, Oblivious Baby Girl~
This will take some time, so we will update this evening after she is settled back into her room and the cardiologist meets with us to provide the results.  Thank you so much for praying for our sweet girl through this process!!

Monday, July 2, 2012

PICU Day 8 ~ (July 2, 2012)


~Daddy's Girl~

Today did not bring any new information as far as a transfer to Boston is concerned, but we still made headway with some communication and hope to have some feedback from them by late tomorrow.  One of Noelle's current cardiologists contacted a specialist in Boston that has expertise in pulmonary hypertension combined with cardiac issues, and he should be contacting us personally with some information as soon as he has the opportunity to review Noelle's records {well, the summary of them anyway...the actual records literally fill several large 3 ring binders!!}  I spoke with this specialist's office today a couple of times and was very encouraged by their helpful attitudes and the time they spent with me on the phone.
~Playing with Daddy~
Whether or not we transfer there, the second opinion is still valuable to us; and we are also thankful for the open attitude of the medical staff here with this request of ours in pursuit of the best care for our daughter.  They have been extremely understanding, and most of them have stated that they would do the exact same thing if they were in our position.  Because we are still waiting on these answers, the heart catheterization that was scheduled for tomorrow has been postponed {possibly to Thursday}.  No one wants to put Noelle through an extra procedure if Boston takes one look at her records and feels that they should perform the heart catheterization themselves.  However, there are still many unanswered questions without the information from the heart catheterization and extra hurdles to cross without a confirmed diagnosis, and so our hope and prayer is that we can do it here and gain some more information before making the next big decision with her care.
~Got it!!~
In the meantime, Noelle had the best night {last night} and the best day today that she has had in almost two weeks.  She was definitely feeling more like her normal self, and it was encouraging to see her so happy throughout the entire day.  It seems the nitric oxide is helping her lungs once again, and the current plan is to leave her on it until she gets through this next procedure.  God has been incredibly gracious to us and sent us much encouragement, especially through these past couple of days as many friends from our church and nurses from FMC have visited us.  I truly miss being able to attend church and enjoy fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Christ; but we also know that this is for a season and do enjoy the times we have with others in the meantime.  It is an incredible encouragement to our hearts; and in a strange sense, it gives us a sense of normalcy amidst the ever changing situations we are currently experiencing.  Our hearts never cease to be grateful for your love and prayers for us~it is a comfort and joy to us amidst the storm.

Sunday, July 1, 2012

PICU Day 7 ~ (July 1, 2012)

Today was another day of waiting as we did not receive any answers yet in our request for information from Boston.  It appears it will take longer than we originally thought since some of her files are so large, they cannot be sent electronically but must be physically sent up to Boston.  We are seeking some information through a couple more avenues, but it is very possible that we will continue to proceed as originally planned with the heart catheterization on Tuesday and gain as much information as possible before making any further decisions.
~Listening to Aunt Donna singing sweet lullabies~
In the meantime, Noelle had a fairly good night last night with fewer desats than most other nights this week.  Today she was a social butterfly as several people from our church visited us {a huge encouragement to us!}, and her Aunt Donna from Forsyth came to see her and soak up some snuggles.  We have been so blessed to have the input of our FMC family through this process.  While Noelle no longer lives in the NICU, they still keep up with her and care for her as their own, and their advice holds a lot of weight with us as they love Noelle and have her best interest at heart.
~So comfy in such familiar arms~
We know that God will guide and direct us, showing us His desired path for us in this process; and if He chooses for us to make this transition to Boston, then He will pave the way and make things clear.  We will continue to keep everyone posted as we are informed of each new step in this process, and we truly appreciate your prayers for wisdom and guidance as we walk this path of so many unknowns {unknown to us, but thankfully not unknown to Him!!}.