Giving Thanks Challenge ~ {Days #18~22}

Thanksgiving Challenge ~ Day #18~22

Topic: Noelle

I have much catching up to do and a full heart as we wish you a wonderul Thanksgiving Day, continuing this season of thanks to God for all He has done.

{If you are new to this challenge, you can catch up on the details here, and please feel free to join along at any time...}


Day #18: Noelle's Cry

A dear friend from college, Amber Olson, recently sent me a poem she wrote with Noelle's cry as the subject.  It brought tears to my eyes as it so poetically captured our feelings on this precious sound, especially during those early months.  This poem says it all {thank you so much, Amber, for this beautiful piece}:

The Cry

Most parents do their utmost

To prevent a child's cry.

We shush and rock and bounce them,

Softly sing a lullabye.

We ache when they are hurting,

And they can not tell us why.

But there was a day a year ago,

When parents strained their ears.

They longed to hear the noise

That often signals baby tears.

And you could hear a pin drop,

As they tried to quell their fears.

For they'd been given awful news

That a mommy's heart had rent,

And the shadows under daddy's eyes,

Proved nights in prayer he'd spent,

And they hoped just to kiss their baby,

Before she off to heaven went.

But a tiny little fighter,

Would make all predictions lie,

And the gracious God of heaven,

Would great miracles supply,

And there were tears - but tears of gladness

When they heard their baby cry.

Amber Olson

November 16, 2012

Day #19: Health Care

One year ago at this time, we were in the process of switching all of our prenatal care over to our specialist.  Up until that time, we had continued to be seen by my regular OB/GYN doctor along with my specialist, since the OB doctor followed my care while the specialist closely monitored Noelle.  It was complicated and meant that I was being seen by one of them every single week; but at the time, we expected to deliver Noelle as a stillborn baby and did not see any reason to find another care provider in the midst of everything we were facing.  The week before Thanksgiving brought the first glimmer of hope we had ever been given; and although we still had no idea what was in store, we cautiously clung to hope and began to consider our options if Noelle happened to be born living.  Still, we did not immediately think to investigate NICU facilities or doctors since this was an entirely new world to us, and we still had no idea what was ahead.  However, all of that began to change when I went in for a check-upwith my regular OB doctor only a couple of days before Thanksgiving.  I had planned to fly and be with family over the holiday, as long as Noelle's heartbeat was still strong, and was excited to hear that fast, strong little sound as soon as the doppler touched my tummy.  But the appointment took a very negative turn as soon as the doctor entered.  She had reviewed our previous week's ultrasound {the one with the first good news we had ever heard} and had come back with a completely different perspective; and although she did not use the term "abortion" {we had absolutely forbidden the mention of it since before there were "issues"} she continually stressed to us that our baby would never be "normal" and she very obviously had a different view on how she would handle our situation. Tom and I left that day, feeling as if every hope we had received the week prior had just been thrown on to the ground and stomped into oblivion.  It was terrible.  I was extremely upset, especially since this doctor would be in the delivery room with us; and if Noelle did happen to survive through the birth, it made us wonder what she would or would not do regarding her care.  We never wanted extreme measures to be taken, but we also wanted everything reasonably possible to be done, if she had a fighting chance.  It still took another twenty-four hours for us pray, talk and work through the situation, seek counsel, and speak with our specialist and genetic counselor; but the final result was that we switchedour entire care over to our specialists, which meant changing clinics/hospital from Greensboro to Winston Salem.  Little did we know that God was weaving His goodand perfect plan through that appointment that seemed so absolutely terrible.  Within two weeks, Noelle would be born, with the exact doctors in the exact facility with the most perfect NICU possible for us and our situation.  I would never choose to repeat that day over again, but I am incredibly grateful to God for using that situation to push us to make the choices necessary in our health care.  He truly put us in the perfect place, in His perfect time.

Day #20: Buckley Reports

When we first met Bob Buckley and his photographer, Eric Sander, we were apprehensive and very leery of allowing them to follow our story. At the time, we had been told that Noelle would not survive, and they wanted to create a story surrounding the Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep foundation, which provides bereavement photography for families who lose their precious babies.  After a conversation over lunch with many questions, much prayer, discussion, and thought, we finally agreed to proceed with their following our story.  Our desire was to make other families aware of this option for grieving families as well as to document what we thought would be the last few weeks we would have with Noelle.  To our surprise and joy, the story has developed into much more than any of us every imagined, and on November 20th, FOX 8 News ran the fifth segment of this story.  This particular clip focused on Noelle's upcoming first birthday; and it has been enjoyable to reflect on this past year, not only with Noelle but also with Bob Buckley, Eric, and Ferlon {his most recent photographer} as we had the opportunity to spend much time with them and get to know them through this process.  They have done a wonderful job with each part of the story, and we have been truly grateful for their hard work and the unforgettable memories they have preserved on film for us.  They have faithfully endeavored to portray what is true, especially as we have shared our faith; and we have thoroughly enjoyed working with them.  If you missed the story on Tuesday night, you can always watch it again here.  Thank you, Bob, Eric, Ferlon, and the FOX 8 News team for all you have done for us through this past year! 

 

Day #21: Sweet Smile

The pictures say it all...

Day #22: Noelle on Thanksgiving Day

I am overwhelmed today as I remember one year ago and all that we were contemplating at the time.  Noelle was making her tiny presence known throughout each day; and I was treasuring each kick as the very last.  We spent time with family, doing all of our normal traditions; but try as we might, nothing was quite the same.  A weight was on our hearts and minds, and I could not help but wonder if the subsequent holiday seasons through the years would be reminders of great sorrow or great joy.  We are thankful every day for this precious miracle, but this Thanksgiving and Christmas season are especially dear to our hearts, considering all that we experienced during this time last year.  As I look at my baby girl today and kiss her sweet cheeks, smile into her eyes, and cuddle her oh so close, I breathe yet another prayer of humble thanks to God for all that He has done.  To say that we are truly blessed hardly seems to be adequate, but we are indeed blessed beyond measure.  Thank you, God.