Giving Thanks Challenge ~ {Day #5}

Thanksgiving Challenge ~ Day #5

Topic: Noelle
Title: Growth

{If you are new to this challenge~which is not your typical Thanksgiving challenge, you can catch up on the details here, and please feel free to join along at any time...}

  

For this challenge, I have encouraged many of you to choose something that is currently a trial in your life and focus on aspects of it for which to be thankful; and because I myself have some of those challenges in Noelle's situation, I will be weaving in some of these items during this thirty day challenge.  

 

To be completely honest, I still have days where I struggle with Noelle's overall lack of growth.  For a mom of a micro-preemie baby, it can be stressful to adhere to a strict feeding schedule, attempting to cram as many calories possible into my baby during the day, and yet still yielding such small results for my efforts.   It has gotten easier.  Each pound that we have reached has lessened the stress level, but I think I often feel personally responsible for her growth, or lack thereof.  Of course the severe reflux has not helped issues along the way since we have had to experiment with her intake and medication levels in order to try and keep food down; and she is also burning a lot of calories during her waking moments since she never.stops.moving!  A hand is always waving or a foot is constantly kicking, and these are things we would never want discourage, especially developmentally.  Until last week, I thought we had finally crossed a hurdle.  Noelle had finally averaged a pound per month by her ten month birthday and had experienced her best two month growth period ever.  We made it past the sleep study and seemed to have the reflux mostly under control, and I really thought we would finally cruise a little faster, or at least maintain a more consistent growth rate.  But all of that changed at her appointment last Monday when we discovered she had gained only five ounces in three weeks, weighing 10 lbs./4oz.  Making it even harder, I know of so many other micro-preemie babies who, once they reached "term" and arrived home, started growing like weeds; and now you would never guess that they spent months in the NICU when they were first born.  So there have been discouraging moments and days, endless efforts, additional feedings, various sleeping positions, and even tears; but in the end, I have to remember that Noelle's growth is not my responsibility.  It is God's.  Of course this does not negate my responsibility as a mother to feed and care for my little girl; but ultimately, God is growing Noelle, not me.  He has determined her size and weight and her "normal," and I must relax and remember that her growth and progress will not happen by the chart.  So instead, I choose to focus on God's continued goodness, especially in her growth, and never forget the place in which we started.  Today, she weighs 10 lbs./8oz.; but in perspective, she weighs 168 ounces or 14 times her birth weight!!  Now that is something for which to be thankful!!

***Do not forget there are less than two weeks left to submit your entry for the book project for Noelle's birthday.  You can read about the project and the deadline by clicking here .  We are enjoying the submissions we have already received but would love to hear from you, if you are willing to participate.  Thank you so much for helping us make Noelle's first birthday a special time of remembrance!!***

Cruising Speed

~Styling in my new helmet~

~Tiny Feet~

Although I would not trade one single day we have had with our sweet girl, the days we are now experiencing with her are ones that I wish I could bottle and keep forever.  Before now, the days were precious to us and yet often excruciating at the same time.  We have had many good days along our journey, even through the NICU and PICU at various times; but every gram/ounce was a struggle and ground was often lost in those days.  Even once we reached the point of consistent, daily weight gain, we still never touched the goal of a "normal" baby, gaining approximately an ounce per day; and one of the major things we discovered through this past PICU journey was that her heart was working so hard against the pulmonary hypertension, it was stealing all of her extra growing calories and using them to fight her increasing lung and heart problems.

~I just don't know how these things happen, Mom!~

Now that those issues are under control with continuing treatment in the forms of oxygen and medications, those calories can again be used for growth; and we are finally seeing the kind of weight gain we have been anticipating since she originally came home from the NICU, thus reaching "cruising speed."

~Someone has found their thumb!~

Yesterday at one of her appointments, she weighed 7lbs. 7 oz., and the newborn clothes are finally fitting well as she fills out.  Her developmental skills also seem to be increasing and changing daily, and the sweet smiles and little "words" are beginning to create a sense of true normalcy as we still navigate the multiple ramifications of her micro-preemie birth.

~Sitting up like a big girl~

A minor issue was also addressed this past week as the back of her head has been becoming increasingly more flat and creating pressure points, so she was fitted with a helmet that she will wear for the next four to six months.  It does not seem to bother her much at all, and our happy baby continues to thrive now that she is back home in her own surroundings.

~Playing with Daddy at the Dr. Appt.~

~With Grandpa Aguiar~

Along with her appointments, the past several days have been busy with various activities and also brought visits with several people, including her Grandpa Aguiar, who was excited to hold her for the first time.  We are incredibly grateful for the family and church family that God has given to us through the years and are so blessed by their love and support, especially through this past year.
Today, as we celebrated two years of marriage together, I thanked God for the man He has given to me to stand by my side as we walk through life.  These past two years have been filled with adventure, learning, trials, and much growing as God has used this covenant to change and mold us to become more like Him.  Through it all, Tom has been lovingly constant and faithful, and I have seen him grow and change by leaps and bounds and am so grateful for this man whom God has chosen to lead our family.  My heart is also undergoing a transformation, and it amazes me how God continues to reveal sin and change me through my spouse.  Noelle has added a completely new dimension to this life journey, making the past year feel as long as ten years at some points; but God has been faithful, and we are ever grateful for the manner in which He has chosen to glorify Himself through her tiny life.  We enjoyed some sweet reminiscing as we celebrated today; and as we treasure our many memories together, we look forward to how God will continue to work in and through our lives to make Himself known and glorified to this world.  Thank you for your continued prayers for our family as we seek to live out the covenant which we signed on that precious day, only two years ago:

Because God has ordained our love and prepared us for each other, we desire to become husband and wife.  Together we will be vessels for His service in accordance with His plan, so that in all areas of our life, Christ will have the preeminence.  Ever honoring God's guidance by His Spirit through His Word, we will live our lives first unto God, even above each other and all others.  Through the pressures of the present and uncertainties of the future, we promise to be faithful, to be loving, to honor and cherish, to strengthen and encourage, to help and to comfort, endeavoring by the grace of God to always reflect Christ's relationship with His bride, the church, for as long as we both shall live.