Giving Thanks Challenge ~ {Day #7}

Thanksgiving Challenge ~ Day #7

Topic: Noelle
Title: Soft Tufts of Hair

{If you are new to this challenge~which is not your typical Thanksgiving challenge, you can catch up on the details here, and please feel free to join along at any time...}

This first week of the Thanksgiving challenge has been an encouragement to my heart, especially in the midst of a divided and hurting world around us.  So much has happened on a large scale this week as our country became the focus of the entire globe when tragedy struck through Hurricane Sandy and then again as our nation selected a leader for the next four years.   

~So Much Hair!~

We have been bombarded from all sides, through every avenue of social media; and although I am thankful to be informed, to have the ability to reach out and help in a small way, or to cast my vote and take a stand {regardless of the outcome}, I am especially grateful at times to escape from the chaos into my little corner of this world, my home, with the peace of Christ satisfying my heart and a sweet little bundle of grace filling my arms.  She is such a constant, physical evidence of God's grace and goodness to me; and I am glad to have the persistent reminder, especially when all is not right in the world around me.  As we cuddled this morning during her first bottle of the day, the sun streamed through the window, highlighting her soft, downy hair; and I suddenly realized where she is sending all of these calories I have been cramming into her!  She is growing out her hair, thicker and faster than I have ever before seen!  My favorite are the little new strands that stick straight up, not being long enough to lay flat just yet, and seen only when the light bounces and catches them at just the right angle.  One moment we are certain it is dark in hue; and then the light changes, revealing what appears to be a pretty, strawberry blonde.  So the final color is yet to be determined, but we are enjoying this phase of downy soft tufts of hair appearing almost daily across her little head.  In the midst of so much turmoil and struggle, I was thankful to take pleasure in something so simple and soft as brand new hair on the head of a sweet, growing baby.

~Smiles for Mommy~

If you are local and would like to help a relief project for New Jersey this week, please check out this page and do what you can to assist this effort.  

***Do not forget there is just over a week left to submit your entry for the book project for Noelle's birthday.  You can read about the project and the deadline by clicking here .  We are enjoying the submissions we have already received but would love to hear from you, if you are willing to participate.  Thank you so much for helping us make Noelle's first birthday a special time of remembrance!!***

Giving Thanks Challenge ~ {Day #6}

Thanksgiving Challenge ~ Day #6

Topic: Noelle
Title: Lock Down

{If you are new to this challenge~which is not your typical Thanksgiving challenge, you can catch up on the details here, and please feel free to join along at any time...}

We just recently completed our first month of lock down {explained here}; and I must say that it was not what I thought it might be.  I pictured long days and dedicated play time.  I imagined lots of extra snuggles and reading books together.  Of course a spotless home, a plethora of baking and cooking, time to write, and so much more was on the list as well.  Some of these things have happened, but usually not the way I dreamed or planned.  Cooking dinner is a regular occurrence {and a mostly enjoyable one after months in the hospital and weeks of "quick" cooking in between doctor appointments}; sweet snuggles happen often, although I can never have enough of those; and we certainly have more play time than ever before.  But in the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy and seeing the tragedy that so many have experienced, I am reminded even more to be grateful for this lock down period.  Many in that situation would love to trade places with me, to be required to stay in their home, to have the ability to cook dinner once again for their family, to wash loads of laundry, to scrub the toilet, to do the "mundane."  It will happen again.  They will move on and rebuild and create a new normal, but their lives will never be the same, both for bad and good; and the road to that new normal will be long and hard.  So today, as I am confined to my home with my sweet miracle baby, I am grateful for this mandatory period in our lives and the "mundane" that I so often take for granted and sometimes, ashamedly, even complain. I am thankful for the help I have received in the form of my mom picking up groceries and running errands.  I am excited my husband has a good job and is able to be in class, finishing his degree and endeavoring to provide well for us.  I am glad to still be allowed to vote via an absentee ballot.  And I am especially enjoying my opportunity to hold a precious little girl and have an "excuse" to be with her all day long.  Life could not be sweeter.

If you are local and would like to help a relief project for New Jersey this week, please check out this page and do what you can to assist this effort. 

***Do not forget there are less than two weeks left to submit your entry for the book project for Noelle's birthday.  You can read about the project and the deadline by clicking here .  We are enjoying the submissions we have already received but would love to hear from you, if you are willing to participate.  Thank you so much for helping us make Noelle's first birthday a special time of remembrance!!***

Giving Thanks Challenge ~ {Day #5}

Thanksgiving Challenge ~ Day #5

Topic: Noelle
Title: Growth

{If you are new to this challenge~which is not your typical Thanksgiving challenge, you can catch up on the details here, and please feel free to join along at any time...}

  

For this challenge, I have encouraged many of you to choose something that is currently a trial in your life and focus on aspects of it for which to be thankful; and because I myself have some of those challenges in Noelle's situation, I will be weaving in some of these items during this thirty day challenge.  

 

To be completely honest, I still have days where I struggle with Noelle's overall lack of growth.  For a mom of a micro-preemie baby, it can be stressful to adhere to a strict feeding schedule, attempting to cram as many calories possible into my baby during the day, and yet still yielding such small results for my efforts.   It has gotten easier.  Each pound that we have reached has lessened the stress level, but I think I often feel personally responsible for her growth, or lack thereof.  Of course the severe reflux has not helped issues along the way since we have had to experiment with her intake and medication levels in order to try and keep food down; and she is also burning a lot of calories during her waking moments since she never.stops.moving!  A hand is always waving or a foot is constantly kicking, and these are things we would never want discourage, especially developmentally.  Until last week, I thought we had finally crossed a hurdle.  Noelle had finally averaged a pound per month by her ten month birthday and had experienced her best two month growth period ever.  We made it past the sleep study and seemed to have the reflux mostly under control, and I really thought we would finally cruise a little faster, or at least maintain a more consistent growth rate.  But all of that changed at her appointment last Monday when we discovered she had gained only five ounces in three weeks, weighing 10 lbs./4oz.  Making it even harder, I know of so many other micro-preemie babies who, once they reached "term" and arrived home, started growing like weeds; and now you would never guess that they spent months in the NICU when they were first born.  So there have been discouraging moments and days, endless efforts, additional feedings, various sleeping positions, and even tears; but in the end, I have to remember that Noelle's growth is not my responsibility.  It is God's.  Of course this does not negate my responsibility as a mother to feed and care for my little girl; but ultimately, God is growing Noelle, not me.  He has determined her size and weight and her "normal," and I must relax and remember that her growth and progress will not happen by the chart.  So instead, I choose to focus on God's continued goodness, especially in her growth, and never forget the place in which we started.  Today, she weighs 10 lbs./8oz.; but in perspective, she weighs 168 ounces or 14 times her birth weight!!  Now that is something for which to be thankful!!

***Do not forget there are less than two weeks left to submit your entry for the book project for Noelle's birthday.  You can read about the project and the deadline by clicking here .  We are enjoying the submissions we have already received but would love to hear from you, if you are willing to participate.  Thank you so much for helping us make Noelle's first birthday a special time of remembrance!!***

Giving Thanks Challenge ~ {Day #4}

Thanksgiving Challenge ~ Day #4

Topic: Noelle
Title: Noelle & Her Daddy

{If you are new to this challenge, you can catch up on the details here, and please feel free to join along at any time...}

~Daddy's Girl~

While I am quite certain that my little daughter loves me {as much as is possible for a ten month old baby}, there is a certain person in this household whom she absolutely adores.  She is a "Daddy's Girl" through and through, and I would not have it any other way.  Their connection began before she was ever born, his voice generating most of her kicking movements throughout the pregnancy.  Watching their relationship continue to develop has been a joy for me; and even though he gets far less time with her during the week than I do, she never ceases to be amazed and awed by him.  It is how it should be with little girls and their daddies, and I hope she always has a special connection with him.  He is an incredible daddy, and I thank God for him and the father that he is to our little girl.  I could continue writing; but tonight, I think the pictures say it all...we are truly blessed.

~Daddy showing me how to find all the hidden secrets in my book!~

~Blurry, but the look of laughter is still captured~

***Do not forget there are less than two weeks left to submit your entry for the book project for Noelle's birthday.  You can read about the project and the deadline by clicking here .  We are enjoying the submissions we have already received but would love to hear from you, if you are willing to participate.  Thank you so much for helping us make Noelle's first birthday a special time of remembrance!!***

Giving Thanks Challenge ~ {Day #3}

Thanksgiving Challenge ~ Day #3
Topic: Noelle
Title: Spitting

{If you are new to this challenge, you can catch up on the details here, and please feel free to join along at any time...}

Yes, you read the title correctly.  I have actually shocked myself in being thankful for something I never thought possible as Noelle has added a new trick to her bag {you can see her others here and here}.  Of course, once we started videoing, she first acted as if she had no idea what we were referencing and just did one of her old tricks; but she finally cooperated and showed off what she now does all.the.time.  It is often non-stop from the moment she wakes up, and I hear her in the cradle doing that more often than any other kind of noise!  While I know we will soon need to train her not to spit {especially when it turns into spitting food!}, for now I am enjoying this as yet another sign of her development, while she explores new sounds and attempts to copy what we do with our own mouths.  She is doing so well, and I am constantly amazed at the changes I see with her, almost daily sometimes.  So as strange as it is, today I thank God for Noelle's spitting and wonder if perhaps it puts a smile on His face too.

***Do not forget there are less than two weeks left to submit your entry for the book project for Noelle's birthday.  You can read about the project and the deadline by clicking here .  We are enjoying the submissions we have already received but would love to hear from you, if you are willing to participate.  Thank you so much for helping us make Noelle's first birthday a special time of remembrance!!***

Giving Thanks Challenge ~ {Day #2}

Thanksgiving Challenge ~ Day #2
Topic: Noelle
Title: Tiny Fingers

{If you are new to this challenge, you can catch up on the details here...}

We love things that are miniature.  People everywhere never seem to tire of stopping to ooh and ah over things or people that are tiny.  I think that is part of the attraction with babies; they are miniature versions of us, and there is something unique and special about that, different than any other type of miniature dog or toy.  We are fascinated with babies' tiny ears and mouths, and we count all their toes; we marvel at their sweet little eyes and their itty bitty noses.  But it is their fingers which you often find us touching and holding more than anything else, I think because it is one of the first things they use to respond back to us.  That sweet "grab and hold" reflex warms our hearts; and you often find people reaching out to babies' hands, knowing that those little fingers will grab tightly onto theirs in an immediate response.  Noelle's fingers are extra special to me.  I think partly because after she was born, it was really the only part of her which we touched for many days; and she responded to us.  Her fingers were the tiniest I had ever seen in my life; her entire hand was barely the size of my pinky nail.  She could not grab onto our fingers the way most babies could, but it did not mean that she did not try!  It was through this touch, between our fingers, that we physically communicated that we were with her, encouraging her to fight hard with us by her side.  But there is another distinct reason why I thank God for these darling fingers.  I am not sure we ever publicly shared this detail since it was the least of our concerns at the time; but at our first high-risk ultrasound, one of the issues they believed they saw in Noelle's development was that her fingers appeared to be deviating to one side, at least on her left hand.  At the time, they were convinced it was yet another sign {of the many they had seen} that pointed them to the Triploidy diagnosis.  As we went through many other ultrasounds through the following weeks, they were never again able to get images of that hand; and so it was yet another thing we would have to wait and see, if she even survived the pregnancy.  Still, with all the other grave concerns she was facing, it was not the first thing I remembered after she was born.  In fact, I think it was later that night or the next day before I thought of it and asked Tom, "what about her fingers?" and received the reply {with a huge grin}, "they are absolutely perfect."  It is a small thing in comparison to all of the issues she has overcome, but these perfect, petite fingers {which are now giant sized compared to when she was born!} are a constant reminder of another evidence of God's grace in our lives; and today, I thank Him for them.

***Do not forget there are only a couple of weeks left to submit your entry for the book project for Noelle's birthday.  You can read about the project and the deadline by clicking here .  We are enjoying the submissions we have already received but would love to hear from you, if you are willing to participate.  Thank you so much for helping us make Noelle's first birthday a special time of remembrance!!***

Giving Thanks Challenge ~ {Day #1}

Today begins a 30 day challenge of giving thanks {if you missed yesterday's post, you can read it here for the explanation}, but not just your typical "think of something each day for which you are thankful."  I have done that before and think it is great; but this year I wanted to do something different~something that made me put more effort and thought into the season.   So I decided to choose one topic and find 30 different aspects of it for which to be thankful.  Several have said they will take up this challenge with me, and I am excited to see how some are already beginning to be encouraged and to pray for others as we embark upon this endeavor to purposefully give thanks each day of this month.  We still welcome anyone who would like to participate with us and encourage you to share each day as well through this month.  I pray this sets a pattern for my life that will continue far beyond the 30 days of November and this Thanksgiving month, and I hope it does the same for you.

I had originally planned a different type of post for today, but that changed when I saw and read some stories regarding NICU evacuations during Hurricane Sandy and was reminded of something else in Noelle's situation for which I am thankful.  So the original post will just have to wait for another day as this is now on my heart.  Updates on Noelle will continue to be provided throughout the month as well and will be woven into the daily posts when we have new information to share.  So, for what aspect of your topic are you thankful?

Thanksgiving Challenge ~ Day #1
Topic: Noelle
Title: Forsyth Medical Center NICU

~Today, I am thankful for the incredible NICU in which Noelle lived for so many months and the protection that God provided while she was there.  As I watched the news today and read reports on the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy,  I saw and read stories of various preemie babies who had to be transferred through the chaos of the storm in the middle of the night, due to a loss of power.  The pictures and emotions of parents that were described brought back a flood of memories and my own emotions.  We went through one somewhat traumatic transfer (here), but we were with Noelle almost the entire time and never had to worry about power, flooding, carrying our less than 2 pound baby down flights of stairs, bagging her to help her breathe because of loss of power, and the list just continues.  I can only imagine the stress and anxiety these families experienced in this situation, on top of their already difficult NICU experiences; and it made me incredibly thankful, once again, for our NICU family at FMC.  I know there are many misconceptions that NICU nurses, respiratory therapists, nurse practitioners, and neonatologists simply rock and feed babies all day long, but nothing could be further from the truth.  On the contrary, I believe that the NICU team has one of the most difficult jobs within the medical field.  I know there are other challenging fields, but my point is that while the job is sometimes very rewarding, the path to that reward is often an incredibly long and difficult struggle as these precious people fight to do everything possible to save babies' lives.  Their patients never speak to them to tell them how they are feeling or where it hurts; they must instead closely follow the clinical signs for how to treat them.  They use monitors and lab results, ultrasounds and x-rays; but when it comes down to "the rubber meeting the road," they rely on their knowledge, experience, and instinct to respond to so many situations that happen and then change from one minute to the next.  So when the power goes out, and they are left without technology, they rise to yet another challenge and continue to do their job in providing the very best care for the tiniest and sickest babies that are born into this world.  Respiratory failure, organ failure, heart failure, brain bleeds, bowel perforation, and infection are only a few of the items that they handle on regular basis; and yet they return to each shift with a passion and a love that is unrivaled.  I think that is what amazes me the most~the care and concern and the communication with the parents through the process.  A lot of bad news is delivered to various parents on a daily basis in the NICU; and yet they handle it with honesty and deep compassion.  If I wrote a book on this, I could still never do these incredible people the justice they deserve.  I wish I could adequately explain even one hour in the NICU and give you a true glimpse of what they actually do, but I hope you understand that it is far more than rocking and feeding babies.  I know not every NICU is as incredible as the one with which we were blessed, and I am forever grateful to our FMC NICU family for your faithful service, your incredibly hard work, your tireless efforts, your sweet optimism, your endless hours of answering questions and explaining issues, your gentle honesty, and your undying love for Noelle and our family.  I cannot think of you or speak of you in this way without tears in my eyes and a heart overflowing with gratitude for the impact you have made in our lives.  You will forever be a part of our family.

***Do not forget there are only a couple of weeks left to submit your entry for the book project for Noelle's birthday.  You can read about the project and the deadline by clicking here .  We are enjoying the submissions we have already received but would love to hear from you, if you are willing to participate.  Thank you so much for helping us make Noelle's first birthday a special time of remembrance!!***